- Added the option to display large card symbols in the sample output. Currently the large symbols cannot be used in the output you copy and paste to wherever you are posting the hand, but I will add that at a later date.
- Added internet-texas-poker.net format
Archive for April, 2006
Disturbing sightings this weekend in Boots, in amongst the continuing proliferation of shaving brands and products. Now, I always used to say that there was one product you shouldn’t try to economise on, and that was toilet roll. To that list of one, I would like to add shaving foam. In fact, I’ll add any product related to scraping sensitive skin with sharp objects. Which is why I won’t be buying anything from the easy4men range any time soon. I mean look at it - you couldn’t design something to look more like an aircraft surplus range even if all you’d ever seen in your whole sorry life was aircraft soap.
Rather frighteningly, these products have been around for a couple of years, according to the easy4men web site, which links to a newspaper report in which Stelios sets out his target for the brand as “a mass market grooming range, positioned as a no-frills, non-elitist brand suitable for all men.”
But wait, what’s that low budget rival just along the shelf, jockeying for position with the orange skin-hassler? Why it’s only Boots’ own back to basics effort, and strike me down if it isn’t about the same price as a small bottle of water… Shape up, Stelios, you want to make a no-frills product? Try dropping your price by almost a pound, and you’re there, because this sharp slice of toiletry will set the punters back a mere 45p. Blimey. That’s for 250ml of shaving foam. And not just any old foam, neither. Nooo, noooo, this stuff: “helps you shave comfortably”. Sure it does. About as comfortably as cold water and a rusty nail file, I’d imagine.
The hunt is now officially on. Is there a cheaper or more dangerous personal grooming product out there?
Caught some MTV over the weekend, including the video for The Raconteurs new single, Steady as she goes. Who be they, I hear the questions. Lumme, where’ve you been - they’re only a cross between Brendon Benson and that bloke out of The White Stripes, Jack Stripe. I think. Not so much a cross, as an actual being of them, in fact. Plus two other blokes I don’t recognise from the publicity stills. So it’s pretty damned exciting, I can tell you. Except for the two other guys.
Good news is that the single’s great, and the b-side isn’t shoddy either. Promising start. You can listen to both right now on the official tinternet site, which is cooler than something pretending to be a terminal ought to be.
I’m all Apprenticed out. Can’t write about it for love nor money. (For love, anyway).
It’s been three weeks now since I last covered it, and there’s been tantrums, tears, lost opportunities, intense staring, leching, and general all-round rubbishness. The upshot of which is that Mani, Jo, and Samuel have all departed the Sugar Block (pause for laughter to die down); in Samuel’s case in a bizarrely oversized raincoat that had me thinking he was about to break into a Jake the Peg routine. As performed by Inspector Clouseau. Which wouldn’t have been out of place after the bizarre Frenchique outfit he donned while trying to lure Oxford St shoppers into his concession. As it were. His luring device, sadly, was a bottle of water for anyone who wanted one. It took him longer than any reasonably sentient being should to work out that if someone offers you a bottle of water outside a shop, you might take it, but your first thought is going to be to bugger off into the distance, not to follow a sinisterly effete bloke into a ladies fashion outlet.
The week before, Jo was finally, and sadly, we all agree, given the old heave-ho by a fairly reluctant Sugarman. She even gave him a second chance, which was sweet of her, but the big man’s mind was made up, and out she went. I don’t think she did an awful lot wrong in the task itself. Other than not sell any cars in a task that was all about selling cars, I suppose, but as always she was no doubt harshly edited by those BBC backroom boys, who were all too happy to show her cavorting around the car lot, one skip short of a cartwheel, buffooning her way about with all the subtelty of a Mani presentation. Shame she’s gone, in a way, but by this time it was just clear that she wasn’t capable of winning this contest: I can understand that these people are under pressure with the cameras and the competitiveness and all (although hang on, Mark Frith, who’s comment in defense of the candidates I’ve stolen this sentiment from, shouldn’t they be able to handle a bit of pressure. They are all, after all, we are told, successful business people) but there’s enthusiastic and there’s just plain loopy. Sorry, Jo.
And what seems like nearly a month ago now, Mani and his bullshit bingo were taken away from the tellybox and bottled up ready to be sold like poppers at the next young business minds conference. You see, Mani, our lives have gone from a convergent phase, to a divergent phase. In other words, you’ve been fired. I was glad, after watching Mani slide through the door, and down the exit stairs, I watched the You’re Fired programme on BBC3. If you want to end up with a slightly more balanced view of the candidates, you could do worse than see them in a less stressful environment, in the care of the more gentle Adrian Chiles. Mani, it turned out, wasn’t all that bad. Like all of us, he has friends, and family, and like all of us, they backed him up, and mentioned that we didn’t get to see all sides of Mani. And in his job, I’m sure he impresses the people he needs to impress: it’s just that he had no idea how to adapt to the new and strange environment that is The Apprentice, or how to align himself, his attitude, and his pitches, to the new sell.
With the possible exception of the recent Green Wing reruns, there’s still nothing to touch The Apprentice right now. Except maybe Footballer’s Wives. or maybe Planet Earth…
Don’t all good bets?
I’ll let him tell it.
So, here’s the story… I said to my girlfriend that any stupid website could get tons of hits, simply because people are bored all the time. She said that I was an idiot and couldn’t make a website that could get tons of hits if I wanted to. After a long argument (mostly centered around the fact that she called me an idiot) we made a bet:
And what exactly would the terms of the bet be? Well, you’ll just have to follow the link to his site to find out. If it hasn’t melted under the bandwith-pressure by the time you get to it, that is.
For some reason, I thought it would be a good idea to go for this three-day Empire reload bonus. Last night I popped the full deposit for the bonus, and today I started working my way towards earning it.
And now, I’m 10% of the way through, and I’m precisely $199.07 down… and I’m not entirely sure what I’ve been doing wrong, other than being card-dead, running into monsters, or seeing dominated hands draw, missing all my draws, and generally feeling like I’ve forgotten how to play this damned game. Question is, should I even bother to try to earn this bonus, or just let it go?