Archer
No. Thank you.

I just managed to catch a few minutes - lucky me eh? - of Jeffrey Archer being interviewed on This Morning. Not the world’s toughest interviewers, Schofield and Britten, and as a hardened ex-lag, Archer had no trouble deflecting away from entirely appropriate questions in order to pursue his life’s ambition to talk about himself at every available opportunity.

He is asked why, if his wife Mary was so marvellous, as he always insists, he would want to stray from her: his response is that it is a good question, which he follows up by asking back: “haven’t either of you strayed?”. Poor chap, can’t quite escape his own make-believe world for long enough to consider that others think, feel, and behave differently. Both presenters responded almost in unison with a resounding “No!” each.

Later, on the subject of drugs, he deplores the high number of prisoners who’ve taken drugs in one form or another. The young, as he calls them, have it harder then when he was young, he declares, with drugs, and terrorists (which co-incidentally feature at the beginning of his latest crapola book). His advice: “Just say no”.

That would be ‘no’ as in “Did you spend the night with a prostitute?”, “No”, presumably.

Fortunately, John Crace has summarised Archer’s new book for the Grauniad, thus sparing me the discomfort of not quite knowing just how bad it surely is:

False Impression

Sounds like another smasher, doesn’t it? He’s no Dan Brown…

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